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End of Days

Tomorrow, my vacation comes to an end.

Thank you to the 5 people that have read these pages, the 5 people that have managed to result in some 1000 hits, some 600 unique visitors. I am both bewildered at the response and humbled. I hope I haven't bored you too much. I may even have a post or two left on my thoughts about returning to work, we'll have to wait and see.

I broke down on Monday and called to order an internet hook-up at home (again). The time was set for today between noon and 2. The last time they couldn't figure out where the line into the building was. This time I missed the call by being in the shower. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I suppose I may try again in a few months, but I just wasn't ready to make a commitment to a new appointment today, so I remain sans Internet. C'est la vie.

I've been on holliday now for 4 months, and like all things, this too must pass. My emotions on returning to the quotidian of my everyday life are very mixed. My dream of being laid off will apparently not come true, so if I choose to leave the decision will have to be my own. While my dream of running from this life is definitely palatable, it will not be: I will not run from anything, but I will run to something. I just have to figure out what that something will be.

It may even be the case that after a few months back at work, I will come to terms with the banality of life as a programmer once more, and settle into an uneasy tolerance for the work, as uninspired and uninspiring as it is. Wild fantasies of living life as an actor, or writer, or journalist, are just that: fantasies. Tomorrow I'll go back to the real world. The infinite curse of the real. The end of a vacation is depressing, well, perhaps that is too strong a word.

Realistically, it isn't depression, it is a sadness and a mourning for what may have been. This is, I think, the discontent and angst of the approach of 30: it is the mourning for a youth that must pass; for decisions left unmade; for paths left unexplored. This is the curse of growing up, a maturity as inevitable as time, and just as unwanted.

The D.C. Pub-Crawl

We took the Amtrack from Baltimore to DC for $20: Penn Station to Union Station. After some wandering with a duffel bag that seemed to grow heavier with time, we managed to discover that the Hostel International that we planned to stay at was full. After a quick phone call, though we managed to find another Hostel for $20 on the other side of town. Unfortunately, we had to go through the ghetto to get there.

After settling in (read: losing the heavy luggage), we made for the mall, those several city blocks that encompass innumerable museums, congress, the white house, and more monuments than one can count... okay, well, maybe not that many.

In a bizarrly ironic twist, when we stopped to take the first photo of the day at the house of congress, I discovered that in our day in Baltimore that we dubbed "The Day to Recharge our Batteries" I forgot to recharge my digital camera batteries. The very digital camera I bought specifically for taking photos of, say, monuments and such in DC. Fortunately, we were hungry, and after a brief walk to Union Station for a bite to eat, I was able to buy one of those disposable cameras. Fortunately, even though they tend not to take such good photos, photoshop fixes most exposure issues.


It's easy to see how easy it is to be patriotic in America when there are this many symbols of greatness, from the giant phalic symbol dedicated to George Washington, to the somber Lincoln memorial with it's several-storey high engraving of the Ghettysburg address. Say what you want about American politicians: they've got a penchant and understanding of rhetoric and speech that goes beyond the pale.

Museums like the Smithsonian and the National Air and Space Museum join ranks with museums of art and political institutions. If one were to choose a location to base some of the arguably most powerful decisions and decision makers, it's hard to think of a more imposing locale.

Being memorial day, the Vietnam and Korean war monuments took on a particularly reflective mood, especially when joined in your reflection by groups like Rolling Thunder and their assorted Vietnam Vet motorcycle clubs.

After passing away from the intimidating power of the mall, we made our way past the White House towards M Street, on our way to Georgetown. This resulted in what we like to call "The M Street Pub Crawl," also known as "The Georgetown Pub Crawl." While it was interesting enough to hob-knob with preppy university kids from as far off as Yale and Harvard, the highlight of the trip by far was chilling for drinks in the lounge of the Watergate Hotel and listening in to journalists tell war-stories of interviews with the Clintons and Bushes of the world, and compare notes on their opinions of opinion makers and world affairs.

Somewhere around 3am we found ourselves back in Georgetown trying to hail a cab that would take us to our hostel. It turned out that most cabbies were unwilling to go there. A smattering of excuses not to drive us there included:
"I have diabetes."
"I don't know where that is." "Nope, sorry, I don't know where that is."
"No. Forget it. Not gonna happen."
"I'm picking up someone else."
"I don't speak English."

Eventually, we found someone who had no problem with making the trip, for a price.

After a long sleep, we made our way back to Union Station, and BWI airport somewhere between Baltimore and DC. For future reference, the Amtrack is not the most price-friendly method for making this trip. Try the MARC train or one of the many busses and light rail options.

And like that, our trip was over.

5 Days on a Boat: An Illustrated Journey

So Brad and I managed to find our baggage and get a train into downtown Baltimore. Of course, we had to have a few drinks at the Airport first, and then again once we got into the Harbour area.

Soon I managed to buy myself a new Camera, and a pair of Sandals, and quickly we were able to head for the terminal where we would meet up with the ship.


Priority one upon arrival was, of course, to find Richie and get another round. From now on, who needs beer when we've got umbrella drinks? Awwwwww yeah! I think I'm going on about 36 hours without sleep at this point. We both managed some napping, but does that really help much?

Before we left port, we had to attend "Boat drill." Can you spot anything that's different with the 2 guys in the middle? Hmmm, what's different here.... hey, wait, how come everyone has a life-jacket except for us? Oh, well, we can probably swim.

After much drinking and lounging by the pool, we finally arrived in Bermuda, where we rented scooters. It was the eve of Richie's birthday, so obviously we set out in search of a bar.

Finally, after much travelling, and remarkably only 1 stop at a bar along the way, we arrived in Hamilton. Scooters are so widespread here, that there are specific parking spots set aside, so it was pretty easy to park and begin looking for another beer.

Eventually we managed to find one, and after a quick return to the ship to drop off the scooters and get changed, we were back in Hamilton for dinner and, well, more bars. Unfortunately, on the way from bar 3 (4? 5?) to bar 4 (5? 6?) we lost half of our group.

Midnight hit while we were waiting, so we had to celebrate Richie's birthday with a round of Jager Bombs without them. to Richie!

Fortunately, everyone wandered past soon enough. We only managed to work in 2 or 3 rounds before they showed up.

We were a little hung-over the next morning, but we didn't consider that a valid excuse for not going to the beach.

Unfortunately, because we were a little wait rising and shining, we couldn't stay there too long.

Now, though, we had food, rest, and sun. It was time to head back to the ship for some more drinks... and perhaps some midnight shuffleboard?

Sadly, our time on the boat was running out, it was soon time to say goodbye to new friends, in the traditional Vampire style.



Brad, ever vigilant in his stance against tradition, ignored the traditional method, and swam for shore.


The hangover after 5 days of partying, though, was pretty damn rough. Especially since we were up and out of the room by 7, and off the boat by 11.

After a while we managed to find a hotel in Baltimore and catch up on some much needed sleep. Now we just have to figure out what to do next.

Round trip back to Baltimore

So it turns out that a cruise isn't much more than a party that lasts several days, and travels about. There's not really much that you see or do, other than, well, party. I remember once waxing on about the difference between the journey and the destination: a cruise is really all journey and no destination.

Don't get me wrong, sitting around and doing nothing while taking a break from drinking and socializing is always fun, but it's rather empty when that's all that you're doing. Sure Bermuda has nice beaches; sure sitting by a pool with umbrella drinks is relaxing. In the long run is it anything more that couldn't be accomplished by staying at home? I have to wonder.

Still, at least now I can say that I've been on a cruise, and that I've been to Bermuda. And let's face it, a 5 day party is still a 5 day party. I couldn't see myslef paying full price for a cruise, though. Kinda like Vegas, I guess: I can go to a party at home, and I'll probably meet a lot more people that I'm likely to see again.

It sucks making new friends when you know that the end of the trip is the last time you'll see them.

Of course, Friday turned into a recovery day. I guess that 5 days of partying is about the point when a solid day of recovery is required.

In Baltimore

I arrived in Baltimore on time, unfortunately I can't say the same for my luggage. With all the travel that I've done over the past few months, through Africa, Europe, to and from North America, I had to travel to the United States to lose a bag. Ooops.

Fortunately, this seems like it should work out well: Brad gets in at 9:17, and my bag is supposed to arrive at 9:30. It got stuck in Chicago when I moved on. I can understand it's desire to stay there: O'Hare is a nicer airport than Baltimore, a nicer place to spend the night.

I managed to grab a few hours sleep on a bench. Compared to Dublin, this airport is definitely a nicer place to crash out for a bit. I also had a chance to look over some maps and things, and chat with a Dental Hygenist on leave from the US Millitary in Turkey. I forgot how many women served in the US army. They also prefer to travel as nondescript as possible, ie without obvious signs of being in the millitary, such as guns, uniforms, and olive drab duffel bags. Who knew?

I didn't realize how close this airport is to D.C. It's almost closer to go to Washington D.C. than to Baltimore itself. Wacky! There's a plethora of trains and busses and such that connect this airport with everything from Anapolis to New York. With an infrastructure like this, you could mistake yourself for being in Europe, except for all the accents.

There are two things that I need to do before getting on the boat (ship?) this afternoon -- besides getting my luggage, of course:
1.) Buy a point and click digital to replace my SLR that I lost in a very expensive game of Frisbee Golf through Kitsilano late one evening -- long story that I might post later. Actually, it's not really that long, but internet access in the airport is $6/hour. Note to self: don't take your camera home unless you're dead sober. Leave it at a friend's place where you can get it later.
2.) I need sandals.

The Economics of Water

I was sent this article about the difficulties of finding water in Africa. Since this is my blog and all, I have no problem with sharing my opinion.

This article touches on what I think are the three corners of what is needed in Africa: Health, Education, and Infrastructure. This is what Africa really needs to move from "Undeveloped" to truly "Developing." The great thing about these three items is that they're auto-catalytic.

Health allows for Education and Infrastructure. An unhealthy individual -- one that is under-nourished, dehydrated, or sick -- has little interest in learning to read and write, let alone mathematics, engineering, etc. Though, I would imagine, they would definitely be interested in learning a little medicine.

Education allows for better Health through learning about hygene, sources of infection, the ability to read more complicated warnings about water, food, etc. An understanding of how to plan for droughts, and methods for avoiding them. It allows for engineers that can build infrastructure, and doctors, nurses, farmers, and other professions that improve health.

Infrastructure provides needed supplies for Education and Healthcare, but also provides clean drinking water, and removes disease-carrying garbage. It's hard to get Education into the rural areas of Africa, primarily because of Infrastructure. How does one attract an educated person to teach in a place without water, electricity, and so on? How does a rural area, where individuals survive on subsistence, how do these people provide a surplus of food stuffs, clothing, and so on that would support a specialized profession such as teaching without an Infrastructure to bring in supplies or allow a more complex economy based on trade?

Africa has water problems, it is one of the more difficult aspects of life in many countries there. Kenya, and Sudan, and other countries that border on or contain the Sahara desert have water shortages, but so do areas of North America: Nevada, Arizona, southern California for example are not exactly lush. The unfair reality of the Earth is that resources are not equally distributed, some places have more water, some places have more indiginous plants, animals, minerals, or oil resources.

How should these people solve their water crisis? Is the answer more wells that will pull water faster from the ground, or would that lower the water table and make it more difficult to dig new wells and springs while drying up existing wells? Is the answer developing desalinization and building an infrastructure network to deliver it half a continent inland? This would require research affordable and necessary only to the United States -- which finds it easier and cheaper to pipe it in from Canada and the Pacific Northwest. Maybe oil-rich and water-poor states of the Middle East will perfect this technology, since they do use it. At the moment, thought, it is still prohibitively expensive for countries with a GDP smaller than most western cities.

The shrinking of Kilimanjaro's glaciers is a contributing factor for Kenya and Tanzania's drought. These glaciers feed the rivers of Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda. While global climate change gets all the big funding these days, local climate change is as or more important, especially for Africa. It is widely believed that this shrinking is the result of deforestation on the lower slopes of the mountain. This in turn changes the moisture content of the air, resulting in less snowfall on the glaciers on the peak.

The solution would be to stop deforestation, but the people need fuel to cook with and boil water. Rising global oil prices are making alternatives to wood hard to come by. Wood is cheap, and relatively easy to get, while cooking oil and gas is expensive. These are not wealthy people.

Canada has a water surplus, but if we were to fill tankers with it and export it, how would that affect our local climate? What would we charge for an oil tanker filled with water? How would we pay for the fuel required to ship it, or the infrastructure to distribute it on the other side of the world? Would the local change in moisture lead to a problem similar to that of Africa? Glaciers are the rechargable batteries of water supply, they melt during the summer, supplying us with water and refill during the winter. If we remove nearby fresh water supplies for export, could this change the local moisture content of the atmosphere, reducing precipitation and leaving us in a similar situation to Kenya, Tanzania and other African nations? Is this a solution or simply a new problem? No one knows, or at least there is no consensus.

This is the real economics of global water: It's complicated, it's difficult, it's highly technical, and no-one has any good answers. While the appeal to emotion of a personal experience is helpful from a rhetorical standpoint -- it gives us a personal story that makes us feel sorry for the person that is presented as the victim -- it boils the topic down to simplicity without offering alternatives.

Unfortunately, this article doesn't provide, hint at, nor call for solutions. It simply makes us feel bad, and this is the problem with appeals to help developing nations: most often they're depressing and present little or no hope. Eventually, we all just start to tune them out.

Intelligently Designed Drunk Monkeys

So it turns out that drunk monkeys are analagous to drunk people. Take that, Discovery Institute! Of course, I suppose their argument would be that the monkeys were a first draft of humans, or maybe the Designer was testing his drinking blueprints on "lesser life forms." I just think it's funny. Monkeys are always funny.

In only a few short days I'll be flying off to Baltimore. Why would anyone go to Baltimore you ask? I don't know, I answer. But more importantly, this is really signifying to me that I only have a few weeks -- days, really -- left before I have to return to my soul-less corporate life. Man, I really hope I get laid off.

I still haven't accomplished much. Although, I've noticed that Season 6 of The West Wing is a big improvement over Season 5. I also have come to the conclusion that the 40km bike route that I ride -- the one that runs from my place past UBC along SW Marine Drive -- takes an hour and a half. Also of import, and closely related, is that an hour and a half on a bike is more than enough punishment for my ass, and I don't really need to bike any longer than that in a day.

Oh, yeah, and if you're taking Translink anywhere, it's cheaper to buy a daypass than 2 tickets for 3 zones. Cheaper by about a buck.

Preparations for Phase 2

Let me summarize the past couple of days since the last post:

First, Cinco de Mayo (aka May 5) was a lot of fun, kudos to Chewy for an awesome BBQ on Friday.

Saturday was the exact relaxed Saturday that I was looking for. Relaxed, calm, and not a whole lot went down. There was some rowing, and some socializing with my rowing folk, but that’s about it.

Sunday? Well… Daven and Jenny’s housewarming (which was also merged with Jenny’s going away – Have fun in London!) was a lot of fun. Let’s face it: this is the first weekend that Corona’s were bought, and the meaning should be obvious. The first buying of Corona of the year means that summer (or a reasonable hand-drawn facsimile) has arrived.

From Sunday’s adventures, the rule of thumb remains consistent: at any time, when one takes a day that you think will be relaxed, and at some point you insert Jager Bombs (a shot of Jager dropped into a half bottle of Red Bull) you will see the sun come up that day. At least, this is the new rule that I’ve come up with.

Rule is a sort of a strong word. I’d say that it’s more of a superstition, like hockey players not shaving for the playoffs, or football players not washing their jock-straps.

Moving on, I have only what, 3 weeks left of freedom? I’m at the point that I want to go back to work, but more for the everyday schedule than for the work. I think I might know what it is that I want to actually do, but I’m second guessing myself since I’ve thought the same thing so many times before and been disappointed – how does one break into the “Idle Rich” industry? Is that a reasonable career choice?

I’ve bought my ticket to Baltimore. For those with long memories: my good buddy Richie (or Ritchie, or Ritchy or Richy, it all depends I suppose on how you feel you want to interpret it) works on a cruise ship, and May 20-something is his birthday. Brad and I will be flying into Baltimore, meeting the ship, and going on a little trip down to a place that they call “Bermuda.” I’ve heard that it’s nice there, and I’m really looking forward to chilling out on the Vespas. The great joy in knowing someone on a cruise ship is the $10/day that they charge for the trip as opposed to whatever the other suckers get stuck with.

Today I bought my ticket into Baltimore. It was $600. I actually managed to find a better deal online than Flight Center came up with. They managed to beat the deal, but only after I pointed that out. This shows – at least in part – the importance of shopping around.

Besides assorted little side-errands that I ran around performing, I hung out at the beach, drank a few frothy pops, and grabbed dinner at Nevermind before watching some “Kenny vs Spenny” back at Brad’s. It was a rough Tuesday afternoon. I’d have photos if I didn’t leave my camera at Brad and Rose’s happy home, but these photos would be of Brad and Richie. Others will, I’m sure, appear during the cruise. At least I remembered to bring my bike home.

Speaking of bicycles. Today I also had my cycle tuned. The fine folks at “West Point Cycles,” not only sold me the bike, but they also cut the “Major Tune-up” cost down to a “Minor Tune-up” cost. Unfortunately, one of my tires and tubes needed replacing (after 2 years this would make sense), and the grand total was a little more than I expected, but only about 10 bucks more than the cost of a major tune.

If you have never seen “Kenny vs Spenny,” this is the first reality TV that I actually think is a pretty cool (read: original, entertaining) idea. Here’s the layout: 2 best friends (Kenny and Spencer) are room-mates. In each episode there are competitions (ie “Who does she like the best” or “Who can win a court battle”), and hilarity ensues. I think it’s on Showcase or something, it’s a CBC joint production.

Apparently there are no hostels in Baltimore -- Stupid Baltimore -- At least, none that will be opened when we get there. We’ve checked hostelworld.com, hostelinternation.com, hostelusa.com, the list goes on. It’s unfortunate, but we don’t really need the hostels in the rest of the Atlantic Northeast (I like that better because it’s like Pacific Northwest).

It turns out that we don’t have the time to do the West Wing tour. This will be something that will have to be planned out in a trip to follow. It’s a shame, but it’s part of the reason that Brad is unhappy with his job. Unhappy in a different way than I am with mine, but in the long run, welcome to the land of Middle Class Problems.

Segueing into the Middle Class Problems, I stopped by “Lens and Shutter” today to replace the battery door on my camera. They can’t fix that there, but they pointed me to people that could. I called ahead, and I’m looking at about $20. Tomorrow is all about getting that taken care of, oh, yeah, and I have to stop by Stanley Park and do the whole “rowing” thing.

I also discovered in the past little while that Photoshop can be used not only to fix the colour of a photo (for instance, taking a photo under incandescent light and finding true-colour) but also to make your teeth whiter. My teeth look so white in all my photos of me. Everyone else is on their own, though. I hear those strips work.